The Sake of Saving Us
by Bexish
Summary: Paris and Jess have talked about all kinds of things during their regular phone calls to each other, but somehow the conversation always turns back to Rory... Begins after I Solemnly Swear and follows the series.
1. Baby, Don't Yell

A/N: The other day I got the urge to write about a Paris and Jess friendship and then this happened. I hope you like it! I'm kind of just jumping in here, but for some backstory they exchanged email addresses when they were hanging out with Rory in There's The Rub and they became friends. Super simple. The title and chapter titles are from All Time Low's Under a Paper Moon so don't pay too much attention to them if they don't seem to fit a chapter :)

* * *

"How could she do this to me?"

"How could who do what to you?" Jess asked, getting comfortable on the couch. These types of phone calls always took a while.

"What do you mean who? Your girlfriend, only my best friend in the world." Paris sighed. "Rory didn't tell you what happened at school?"

Jess cleared his throat uncomfortably. "She might have mentioned an incident in gym class. She didn't really elaborate, she just said that it wasn't a big deal." He instantly regretted his choice of words. For Paris, everything was a big deal.

"Not a big deal? Hah! She betrayed me! And now everyone knows about it and they all think _I'm _the moron."

"Okay, let's get rid of the emphasis there. Nobody thinks anyone is a moron. What happened though?"

Paris let out a long sigh. "She told Francie that I have a boyfriend," she said dramatically. When Jess didn't respond right away, she sighed again. "Aren't you even going to say anything?"

"Okay. Is it possible that she said it in an offhand kind of way, or that she was actually defending you somehow?" As much as Jess tried to maintain a neutral position he couldn't exactly throw his girlfriend under the bus. "Maybe she didn't know you wanted it to be a secret."

Paris was quiet for a moment. "It should have been a secret. How on earth can I be an effective leader if everyone thinks I'm preoccupied with my boyfriend? It shatters my credibility. Look at Madeline and Louise! They spend more time picking out nail polish for a date than they do on anything for school."

"Rory has a boyfriend," Jess pointed out rather unnecessarily. "Does that shatter her credibility?"

"She's not the president," Paris said quickly. "I am. I have to be a strong leader. Do you think people would respect Hilary Clinton if she ended every speech with 'And that's my speech, now I have to go make Bill dinner'?"

Jess laughed, which prompted an irritated noise from Paris. "I'm sorry. I just can't imagine you closing out a meeting by saying you have to go make dinner for your boyfriend. Paris, no one is going to think less of you if you have a boyfriend. And Jamie goes to Princeton, not the local clown college. That has to count for something."

"She told you all about him. Of course she did. Nothing is private anymore!"

"She just mentioned him when she was telling me about the summer program you guys did in DC. I promise Rory is not out to ruin your life or discredit you in any way. She likes you. You're friends."

Paris was quiet. "I've never had a best friend before. I barely have any friends as it is. High school is hard, you know. There's a lot going on and I don't have time to cuddle up to some other losers because Rory is being a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, I know. I don't have a lot of friends either. But you've got Rory. And you've got me."


	2. Everything We Used to Know

"Hello? If this is a telemarketer, I don't want whatever you're selling and you should take this number off your list." What good was caller ID if half the numbers that called showed up as "unknown caller"? And Paris was, naturally, the only one to ever answer the home phone. Her parents were never around and Nanny's English was shaky at best when it came to dealing with annoyances.

Someone on the other line cleared their throat. "No, it's Jess."

"Ah. Jess."

"Rory told you, huh?"

Paris sighed. "That was a really shitty thing to do, you know. Rory is heartbroken. Do you know what she did the night of the Stars Hollow prom that you were supposed to take her to? She proofread articles for the final issue of the Franklin. By herself. She emailed me four times asking me grammar questions and you know as well as I do that Rory has impeccable grammar."

"I—"

"No, I'm not done talking," Paris said. "You don't get to talk yet. You weren't at her graduation. That really hurt her. I could tell. People are supposed to be happy when they graduate but she was a distracted mess when I saw her. Boyfriends are supposed to be there for their girlfriends for the happy things _and _the bad things. Rory's mother's friends were at the ceremony but you weren't. Where even are you?"

"California," Jess said, his voice slightly crackly. Paris assumed he was calling from a payphone. Good. Let him pay an arm and a leg for this call.

"What's in California?"

"Nothing, really. But I couldn't stay there."

Jess got so quiet that Paris thought the connection had been lost, but the display window on the phone was still lit up. She was about to give up and say goodbye when he spoke up again. "I let her down. I let everyone down. So I had to leave."

"You could have stayed. You know Rory would have helped you."

"No. Luke said since I wasn't graduating I had to leave. That was the deal."

"So you just took off without telling anyone?"

"I almost told Rory. She sat next to me on the bus the day I left. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't. I had already screwed up. I just couldn't do it again. She didn't deserve that."

Paris scoffed. "What she didn't deserve was her boyfriend taking off without telling her and then not bothering to call her and say hey, I'm in California and I'm not dead and by the way, I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass."

"I've tried calling her a dozen times but every time she answers the phone there's just nothing I can say. I know I can't fix this. Apologizing doesn't seem like enough. I don't think I'm going to call her again. It's not fair to her."

"But you called me. And guess what? You left without telling me, too. I thought we were friends."

"We are friends."

"Friends tell their other friends before they take off across the country because they screwed up one little thing."

Jess sighed. "It was a lot of things. I don't want to get into it though. I've gotta have a friend out there somewhere at least."

"You need to fix this."

"I will. Someday. I'll figure it out." Jess paused. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me," Paris said. "Apologize to Rory."

"I will. But I'm sorry for leaving you, too."

Paris rolled her eyes. Stupid boy. "Be careful out there, Kerouac."

"I'll do my best."


	3. Building a Place, Something Amazing

"Hello?"

"You are such an asshole."

"Any particular transgression this time?" Jess asked, checking his watch. His car had been at Gypsy's for three hours and there had been absolutely no progress made that he could tell. Gypsy wasn't even working on his car even though he had been there first.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm surprised there wasn't an angry mob waiting to drive you out of Stars Hollow."

"This town is ridiculous. They're all obsessed with me. I don't know what that's about but it's a little creepy."

"They love Rory. I don't know why. Stars Hollow gives me hives. But when you said you were going to fix everything with Rory I didn't realize that you meant running away every time you saw her."

"Jeez, does she have you on speed dial or something? I just saw her like half an hour ago." Paris was his friend and everything but she was too intense sometimes.

"And you left as soon as you saw her. That's not particularly endearing if you're working on some grand gesture to win her heart back. Especially because she is fine without you. There are dozens of guys at Yale falling all over her. She doesn't need you anymore, Jess."

"She never needed me."

"For the first time in a long time you're actually right. She was too good for you. You make it really hard to be friends with you sometimes," Paris said, sounding irritated. "I want to be friends with you because your view of the Beats writers is completely laughable, but you're screwing with my best friend. I can't overlook that."

"I know, I know," Jess said, looking out the window of Luke's apartment where he had taken refuge. He had stretched the phone cord over to the window in the hopes of seeing Rory but she seemed to avoiding the entire vicinity of the diner. Not that he blamed her. "I can fix this though. I'm going to fix this."

"Your _past _relationship is not like your piece of junk car, Jess. You can't take it to a mechanic and get the boyfriend mechanism replaced. You are never going to win her back if you keep acting like you're afraid of her."

"I am, a little bit."

"Good. You should be. She shouldn't even bother making eye contact with you after everything you did to her." Sometimes Paris' resoluteness was endearing but not when it was aimed at him. "She loved you, you know. And judging by her complete obliviousness about the guys at school, she still does. She doesn't need you anymore, but somewhere in there she still loves you. And if you stop screwing around you can probably use that."

"I'm doing my best."

"So far your best has been absolute garbage."

"Thanks, Paris. So will I see you while I'm in the area?"

"Don't count on it. Maybe if you don't screw things up with Rory again, but I don't trust you to do that."

"Always a pleasure." Putting up with Paris could be exhausting but she was Jess' last link to Rory. And despite the fact that she didn't hate poetry, he had grown to genuinely like her and he wasn't too great at being genuine.

"I'm doing this for your own good. Seriously, do not screw things up this time."

"I won't."


	4. Saving Us From Under the Sun

"Paris?"

"It is 11pm, Jess. This better be good."

"I fucked up."

Paris sighed, shifting the phone to her right ear. She could already tell it would be a long conversation. "Okay, start from the beginning. What happened?"

"I don't want to start from the beginning. You're going to yell at me. I saw her at whatever festival the town was having tonight and she tried to run away but I caught up with her and I told her I love her—"

"There we go! I knew you had it in you somewhere," Paris said happily, glad that Jess had followed her directions for one.

"Not so fast. I drove away after that. Just got in my car and left. I'm on a diner payphone in Litchfield right now."

Paris sighed. She was really going to kick his ass. "I want to say I'm surprised but I'm really not. Cutting and running. A Jess Mariano specialty."

"I didn't even mean to do it. I just… freaked. She was standing there and she wasn't saying anything. She obviously doesn't care about me anymore so there was no point in hanging around." At least Jess had the decency to sound contrite.

"You're such a moron. You aren't far from Stars Hollow. Go back and fix this."

"I don't think I can fix this one. You guys are halfway through your freshman year already. I waited too long. It's over. It's too broken to fix."

"Do you want it to be over? Do you really want it to be over?" Paris had been skeptical about Jess at first, but she had seen how happy he made Rory. Most of the time. Even when Rory had still been dating Dean she had been obsessed with Jess, not that she had bothered telling Paris. But it had all been right there that night Jess had stopped by when Lorelai was out of town. Paris knew how hard it was to find a good guy, and the right guy. Jess had seemed like he could be the right guy for Rory if he stopped running away from everything.

"No. But I know when to cut my losses. Like you said, she doesn't need me anymore. She'll find someone else. Yale is full of guys."

"But what about you? Is New York full of girls?"

"Don't worry about me. How are things with you? How's the professor?"

"Better than you ever have been or probably ever will be." Paris yawned. "As much as I would like to rail on you some more I think you've learned your lesson for tonight. I've got to get to bed."

"Yeah. I should get home. I've got a long drive still." Even over the phone, Paris could feel Jess hesitating. "Don't tell Rory I called you. I don't want here to think there's something where there obviously isn't."

"I never do. Don't be too hard on yourself, okay?" Paris had heard from a million different people that she could be a hardass but she could muster up sympathy when the situation called for it. "You tried. I know you tried."

"Not hard enough. But what's done is done."


	5. Two Plastic Hearts

"Well, it's over."

"What's over?"

"The Bush administration. What, Rory didn't call you?"

"Call me about what?" Paris asked, adding one last shirt to her already overstuffed suitcase. She didn't have a lot of clothes, so she was taking everything she owned with her to England with Asher. "I've been packing for my trip so I didn't notice if she did."

On the other end of the line she heard Jess sigh. It sounded like the sigh people gave when she crushed them in a debate. "I went to Yale. I was in Stars Hollow for my mom's wedding and Luke said some things and I had to try again. So I drove to Yale and she was there with Dean of all people and…"

"And?" Paris looked at her watch. "Look, I've got to head to the airport in like 45 minutes so you don't have time to get all dramatic on me."

"I asked her to come back to New York with me. And she didn't go for it."

"Oh, Rory didn't drop out of Yale to move to New York with you out of nowhere? What a shock. What on earth made you think that was a good idea?"

"I don't know. I love her. And I wanted to show her that I can take care of her now. Better than Dean could."

Paris sighed. "You know as well as I do that Rory doesn't need someone to take care of her. She just needs someone who can be around. Who doesn't leave."

"I could be around in New York. But she said no. She doesn't want to be with me." Jess was quite for a minute. "She really doesn't want to be with me. I don't know what to do."

"Look, can I give you some advice?" Paris forged on before he could answer. "Sack up. So she doesn't want to be with you. It's been over for a year now. She's obviously moved on, and you need to too. You're going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep trying to make grand gestures to win her back. I've seen how you eat. You're one cheeseburger away from an early grave anyway."

"Thanks, Paris."

"You're welcome," Paris said, choosing to ignore his sarcasm. "Now I have a plane to catch. I'm going to be pretty incommunicado in England but I can probably check my email once in a while. Don't do anything moronic while I'm gone."

"I'll try."


	6. Nowhere to Run

"Hey, you back from England now?"

"Asher's dead."

"What? Wow. I'm really sorry about that." Truthfully Jess had always thought Paris' relationship was a little too Harold and Maude but he hadn't expected Asher to actually die any time soon.

"Anything else you want to add?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Jess thought he heard Paris sniffle. "I just talked to Rory about it a minute ago and she asked if it was in bed. It wasn't. It was during a recitation of Shakespeare. He had a heart attack."

"I would expect nothing less from him. The Shakespeare. Not the uh, heart attack." Jess could've kicked himself. At least he hadn't asked if was during sex. That hadn't even crossed his mind. Mostly because he wasn't sure Paris actually knew what sex was. She seemed more like a machine than anything else. "So are you still in England then?"

"I'm flying home tonight. I've been trying to sort things out at his place here and time got away from me. I didn't even think about school until Rory called to ask where I was. I should probably go, actually. This call is costing me a fortune. I just wanted to talk to someone."

"Well, I'm always here."

"Have you ever loved anyone who was just gone forever all of a sudden?"

"Not in the sense that you're talking about."

"It's just really hard." He could tell Paris was trying to hold back tears.

"I know it is. But things will get easier someday, I promise."

"Thanks, Jess."


	7. Rolling the Dice

"Guess who's back."

"Shady?"

"No. Do you actually know someone named Shady?"

"No, it was… never mind," Jess said, stepping out into the hallway of his apartment so he wouldn't wake up his roommate, who was sleeping on a futon mattress on the floor. "Who's back?"

"Dean."

"Koontz?"

"No. Dean Koontz isn't dead." Paris gave an irritated huff. "No, Rory's Dean. They're back together. They're at the dorm right now. I went out to pick up more batteries for my noise canceling headphones."

"I'm hoping those two thoughts aren't related," Jess said, willing any mental pictures away.

"So that's all you have to say?" Paris asked, sounding clearly disappointed.

"She's a big girl. She can do what she wants."

"You're not seriously telling me you don't care about this."

Jess looked at the peeling wallpaper on the wall across from him. This place was gross. "I figured it would happen sometime. I saw them together in May so it's not really a surprise. You were the one who told me to get over her, anyway. Why do _you _care about this?"

"I don't know. I don't like Dean. He's not good enough for her. And he's just so _tall. _What is that about? I don't trust him."

"You don't seem to think I'm good enough for Rory either."

"You could be if you stopped doing idiotic things. You know Rory. I know you do. So you should know by now that she isn't into ridiculous gestures and grand proclamations followed by running away. Dean won't do any of that and she knows it. He's dependable. He's safe."

"So I should be more like Dean?"

"No, don't be more like Dean. Just be a less terrible version of yourself."

"Thanks for that."

"I'm serious," Paris insisted. "Dean is dependable and safe but she's going to get bored with him. I can just tell. So when she gets bored with him you can be there. Jess 2.0, with the boyfriend software all upgraded."

"You are a nerd. And I wouldn't know what to do. The last two times I saw her it ended really badly."

"Three. You skipped out to California the first time."

"Yeah, thanks. Three times then. Doesn't Dean play baseball or something equally dumb? He's probably counting the strikes against me right now. I'm out."

"Come on. You're just giving up?"

"I gave up a while ago," Jess admitted. "She doesn't want me and she hasn't for a long time. I need to work on getting my own shit together and not worry about what Rory's doing."

"She seems really great, Jess. And not with you. Doesn't that bother you?"

"No," Jess lied. "I'm happy for her." Not a lie.

"Do you want me to stop calling about her?"

"You don't have to stop calling but there's more to talk about than Rory. No need to rehash ancient history."

"I got really good grades in history."

"I bet you did. You never seem to forget anything."

"That's why you can't lie to me. I remember how you looked at her when I first met you. That kind of love doesn't just go away."

"No. It doesn't." Jess stared at his shoes. He hadn't bought new ones since high school. Dean probably had a shiny new pair of shoes every week. "But sometimes it's best just to let things go."

"And you can do that, for real? You keep saying you're going to but I don't think you are.

"I don't know. But I'm going to try this time."


	8. On Whatever's Left

"Well, it's official. The golden couple is no longer."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It _means_ that Rory and Dean broke up again. She had some obligation party at her grandparents' last night and he tossed her to the curb when she found her hanging out with Logan Huntzberger and her friends." Paris was never much of a gossip in high school, but she had to admit that it was growing on her.

"Who is Logan Huntzberger?"

"Mitchum Huntzberger's son?" When Jess didn't say anything, she tried again. "The newspaper magnate?"

"No. I have no idea who that is. Why does this guy matter?"

"He's rich and a serious playboy. Every girl here wants to be his arm candy and it looks like Rory might have a shot."

"No offense, Paris, but I don't really care. I meant it when I said I was going to let things with Rory go. She is free to date whoever she wants. And you said you were going to stop calling me about Rory."

"I'm sorry," Paris said without an ounce of contrition. "It's just interesting, don't you think? She was so sweet and sheltered in high school. She had Dean who was basically Ward Cleaver and then she had you. Let's face it, you weren't much of a threat. But now it seems like she's moving up to the big leagues."

"Let me guess, you don't like Logan either."

"Logan Huntzberger is all flash and no substance. He squires girls around on daddy's dime and does ridiculous stunts with his friends for attention. He's not Rory's type at all." She didn't understand what people saw in Logan. He was on the paper with them but he was a huge slacker, so even that wasn't a redeeming quality.

"Maybe she's got a new type. Or maybe she doesn't really have a type. Do you have a type?"

Paris thought about Jamie and Asher. Not much in common there. "I guess not. But I think Rory does. Okay, I've got to get going. Rory is showing some girl from Chilton around and she gets here tomorrow and Queen Gilmore said I need to clean up my craft corner."

"Paris Geller has a craft corner?"

"Don't make fun of me. It's good for my anxiety."

"Oh, now you never struck me as the anxious type. You're as cool as a cucumber."

"You're annoying. I promise the next time I call you it won't be about Rory."

"Looking forward to it."


	9. We Could Use the Rest

"I think I have a boyfriend."

"Paris?" When she had told Jess she would call again he didn't expect it to be the next day. "What do you mean? I didn't know there was another guy."

"There wasn't, but I went to speed dating earlier and my editor from the paper was there and we had a really nice conversation and then we had sex. Rory's high school puppy almost walked in on us. It was embarrassing. Rory was, dare I say it, disgusted."

"This was earlier tonight?"

"Yes, he went home already. He didn't feel like hanging around once the kid crashed the party."

"And you're calling me about it now." Jess was kind of amused. Paris usually called him once a week or so, but never right when things happened.

"I was just excited. I didn't know who else to tell since Rory already knows. I think I like him." Even over the phone, Jess could tell Paris was smiling.

"I'm sure he likes you too."

"That's the thing. I don't know. We didn't discuss it. I'm not naïve enough to assume that having sex means we're dating. I don't even know if I want to be dating him. He's my editor, after all. It's borderline inappropriate."

"When I answered the phone you said you thought you had a boyfriend. I think you want to be dating him."

"I would never say something like that!" Paris, as usual, sounded offended.

"You definitely did."

"I did not. Hey, do you want to know what Rory's up to? I bet we could talk about that for a while."

"I'm good. Besides, you should probably hang up in case your new boyfriend calls."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"We'll see."


	10. Living Under a Paper Moon

"You call me at the oddest times."

"I have an odd schedule. What's going on?"

Paris put down her notebook, glad to have a distraction from the Russian authors she was supposed to studying. "Not a lot. Nothing new, really."

"We haven't talked in almost three weeks and you've got nothing new?"

"Well, classes are frankly exhausting. I'm either in class or doing homework. There hasn't been much to report."

"Uh huh," Jess said, sounding skeptical. "So that's what you've been doing all month? Just homework?"

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Because you sound like you're not telling me something that you want to tell me."

Paris sighed. "Fine. If you must know, Doyle and I are officially dating. Exclusively. We are in an exclusive relationship. And it's going well." She couldn't help but smile a little bit. "Very well."

"That's great. That's not really news though. You couldn't stop talking about him last time we talked. What else is going on?"

Jess was annoyingly persistent when he wanted to be. "If you really want to know, Logan and Rory are also in an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship. I don't know why you just don't come out and ask about her instead of beating around the bush. You clearly want to know what's going on, even though you pretend you don't. It's completely transparent."

"I didn't mean you had to tell me what was going on with Rory."

"You obviously did. Fine, if you weren't talking about Rory we can talk about my classes. We're learning about the male reproductive system in my anatomy class. Do you want to talk about penises? I know all about them now."

"Jeez. No, I'll pass on that. How are your other classes?"

Paris rolled her eyes. "You didn't call to talk about my classes. You called to find out what's going on with Rory and Logan. And now you know. If you're done using me for information, can I get back to my studying?"

"I wasn't using you! It was just annoying that you were clearly trying to hide it from me. Now it's out in the open and I can change the topic. Do you want to hang out in the city this weekend? Saturday? There's a really cool art show going on that I think you could get into. Bring Doyle, make a day of it."

"I can't on Saturday, but I'm sure I can find a time in my schedule soon to visit. I could probably convince Rory to come if I don't tell her I'm meeting you there."

"No. That's okay. Don't do that. Just tell Doyle about it and get back to me, okay?"

"If that's what you really want," Paris said, pleased that he wanted to hang out but not at all convinced that he didn't want her to bring Rory along too.

"It is. Just friends, hanging out. No big deal."


	11. Real Life Just Isn't Right

"So what were these amazing plans you had this weekend that stopped you from coming to New York?"

"I went to Stars Hollow with Rory. They just opened up some weird mannequin history museum."

That sounded like Stars Hollow all right. "Was it any good?"

"We never actually made it inside." Paris sounded sheepish. "You got a free cup of punch with admission so we just sat outside drinking it for a while. It was quite the bonding moment for the three of us."

"Did you drag Doyle along?" Any guy who would pick a weekend in Stars Hollow over going to New York was an idiot in Jess' opinion.

"No, we met up with Lane there. The whole thing was a complete mess. Lane is mad and her boyfriend and Doyle was being a pain up at school and I must have misinterpreted Rory and Logan's relationship because she was having a fit about him. And then we all threw up."

"That's a good story. Be sure to tell that one at your next fancy Yale mixer." Jess cleared his throat. "So. Rory and Logan aren't together?"

"As someone who does not have the full picture of their relationship like I thought, I can't say for sure. I thought they were together but Rory made it seem like they aren't. I have no idea what's going on. There was a party a little while ago and they both went with different people but Logan got mad about it and wanted to be there with Rory so I just assumed we were. But the good news is, Doyle was being a pain because he was sick. He was lying in my bed when I got home. It was gross. But kind of cute."

"Gross? You're pre-med."

"Why does everyone feel the need to point that out? I don't like sick people, okay? They freak me out."

Trust Paris to be the one pre-med student at Yale who was afraid of sick people. Jess shook his head. "So you at least had a good weekend then?"

"I think so. I got a lot figured out. And I almost died trying to eat a taco when I was hungover but in the end it did make me feel better so it was a learning experience. How was your weekend?"

"I went to that art show." Truthfully Jess wasn't really into art, but he thought it could be fun with Paris because she was just as critical as he was, if not more.

"By yourself? Poor sad loner boy."

"No, I went with a friend."

"A special lady friend?" Paris sounded like she was teasing, but gasped when Jess didn't answer right away. "Do you have a special lady friend?"

"No, she just works at the coffee shop down the street from the apartment. It's no big deal. We're friends." Jess shrugged, not that Paris could see him.

"Well you better keep me updated on this friend of yours. And don't forget about your friends over in Connecticut."

"I won't forget about you. But there's nothing going on here, I swear."

"Do you want me to keep you updated on Rory and Logan's possible relationship?"

"No matter what I say you're going to tell me about it anyway."

"That's true. Okay, I have to go. I need to get to the Daily News office. Don't have too much fun there without me."

"Not much of a chance of that. Take it easy on the punch."


	12. Let's Get Away

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying this! It's a lot of fun to write. I wish we had seen some Paris and Jess friendship on the show because I'm sure I do not do their potential friendship justice. And yes, I know Paris was supposed to read about the boat on Rebecca Thurston's blog but I'm playing fast and loose with this one. And to be honest I kind of forgot about that part. It's hard to keep it all straight.

* * *

"Guess who got arrested?"

"Should I be sitting down for this one?"

Paris paused, trying to create an air of drama. "Rory."

"I'm sorry. It sounded like you just said 'Rory', like you meant Rory Gilmore."

"The one and only."

"And you're not just making this up to punish me for not calling you in the last couple of weeks?" Jess asked, sounding far too suspicious for Paris' liking. Like she would ever lie about something like this.

"No, she really did get arrested. She said something about going to a party for Logan's sister and then she called to say she was back in Stars Hollow for the summer and by the way, she was arrested for stealing a boat."

"She stole a boat. Rory, the least outdoorsy person ever, stole a boat. This whole thing just sounds like a joke I'm not going to get at the end."

"I swear to God, if that's you're thing. Rory and Logan stole a yacht and they were arrested and now Rory's home in Stars Hollow even though we had plans to go out for dinner tonight to celebrate the end of the semester." Paris had gone out with Doyle, but it wasn't the same as celebrating with her best friend.

Jess sighed. "Well, she's home now so Lorelai will help her figure things out, I'm sure."

"How can you be so blasé about this? This is the biggest thing to happen to our friend group since… ever, actually!"

"Paris, we don't have a friend group. Rory and I aren't friends anymore. You and I are friends and you and Rory are friends. Yes, it's big but she'll figure it out. She's a smart girl."

"I'm going to Stars Hollow tomorrow to talk to her. You should come with me. I know it's a drive for you, but I think she would appreciate your input."

"In what world would Rory want my input on anything?" Jess asked. "And I am busy tomorrow, actually. I'm moving to Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia? What's in Philadelphia?" Cheesesteaks? Brotherly love?"

"I got a job there. Plus it's really expensive to live in New York. I think I live above a meth lab."

"Hey, maybe those guys are the suppliers for the doo-wop group that hangs out in the lobby of our building." No one ever believed Paris when she said they were a doo-wop group, but it was just best to keep up the pretense. She knew krav maga if they ever got rough.

"I don't think they're supplying to anyone besides themselves. But the guys I'm moving in with seemed okay over email."

"You know Philadelphia is farther from Connecticut than New York."

"Paris, you know that besides Luke and Liz there's nothing for me in Connecticut."

"And yours truly. You should come say hi on your way to Philadelphia."

"New Haven is nowhere near on the way to Philadelphia. You're way farther north."

"Oh." Paris quickly looked up the directions on her computer. "Huh, you're right. I thought Connecticut was above New York."

"Paris Geller was wrong about something. This is a great day."

Paris scowled. "You just pack up your car and hit the road there, buddy. I've got a felon to visit, anyway."

"Make sure you go during visiting hours."

"And say hello for you?"

"Come on, we both know the answer to that one."


	13. Let's Fabricate

"So how's Philly?"

"How was your visit to Rory?" Jess countered, wanting to beat Paris to the punch for once. They both knew that topic was going to come up eventually.

Paris sighed, sounding annoyed. "It didn't happen. Doyle came down with food poisoning and I didn't feel right leaving him. Instead I spent the whole night cleaning out the kitchen looking for expired food because he refuses to believe it was from the oysters at the restaurant."

"That sounds like fun."

"Thankfully he's much better today, so I'm going to visit Rory later. She didn't last in Stars Hollow for very long. I called their house because Rory wasn't answering her cell and her mom said she moved in with her grandparents."

"Her grandparents? She won't be happy there." The words slipped out before he could contemplate them and of course, Paris jumped all over them.

"Look who thinks he knows what would make Rory happy. You want to hop on the train and meet me in Hartford? We could tag team this thing."

"I can't go to Hartford today. Besides, her grandmother hates me. I doubt she'd even let me in. Oh, and there's no reason for me to go because I'm not even supposed to know about the situation and I'm sure Rory wouldn't appreciate my presence."

"Technically she never told me not to tell you what's going on. She knows I talk to you. I'm assuming. The three of us hung out all the time in high school."

"We hung out three times and then we started emailing each other because Rory got tired of us arguing all the time. Unless you've said anything to the contrary I doubt she remembers that we're friends."

"Fine. Don't say I didn't offer though. I'll call you later with an update."

"Oh, I am so looking forward to that."

* * *

"Well, Rory is taking a break from school. I knew Logan was bad news. Didn't I tell you that he was trouble?"

"You did," Jess said, a little taken aback. Rory was the most studious, hardworking person he knew. Besides Paris. "So she dropped out?"

"She said she's 'taking a break' but we all know what that means. People don't just take a break halfway through college and go back. Especially not at Yale. She would never be able to catch up if she came back. Missing a whole semester would be the kiss of death." Paris clearly did not approve of Rory's decision, and Jess couldn't say that he was a fan of it either. It seemed so short-sighted. What had happened to the Rory he knew?

"Thanks for the update, I guess," Jess said. "And hey, I'm sorry about all this. It must be a pain for you."

"I don't know what I'm going to do without her here," Paris said softly. "She's the only one besides Doyle who actually listens to what I have to say. The paper's probably going to be a mess. And no one is going to cut me off when I've had too many espressos. I'm going to be a shaky wreck all the time."

"I bet it won't be as bad as you think," Jess said. "And maybe she'll end up realizing she made a mistake and not take time off after all."

"Well, she better make up her mind fast. She's running out of time."

Jess knew what that felt like. Ever since he left for California two years ago it had been him against the clock when it came to Rory and now he had run out of time. "She'll make the right decision in the end. It might not seem like it, but she always does."


	14. Baby, Don't Fret

"Finding an apartment in New Haven is a tremendous pain."

"Still on the hunt, huh?"

Paris sighed. "I've been starting to consider Craigslist. Of course Rory was supposed to be helping me with the search but now that's not happening. Doyle and I are going to live together instead." She blushed a little bit as she said it, feeling a little self-conscious. It had been so out of the blue, but she couldn't afford a place by herself.

"Paris, that's great," Jess said, sounding genuinely happy for her, instead of like a brooding idiot who wouldn't admit that he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend.

"It'll be different, but I think it will work out fine. We're looking for a two bedroom place in case we end up hating each other, or in case we end up needing to find a roommate. It's all very practical. But it's a little exciting too," Paris admitted.

"It sounds like it. Everything's really changing, huh?"

"You're living in Philadelphia, Rory got arrested and dropped out of school and I'm moving in with my boyfriend, which I never thought would happen in a million years. So I would say you're right about that." Nothing was going how Paris had planned, but she didn't really mind. "So what are you doing out in Philadelphia, anyway? You never told me."

"I'm actually working at a printing press," Jess said. "We print a couple of books and a magazine every month. It's a pretty cool place so far. I think I could work here for a while."

"A printing press? I have one of those. So working at a printing press… are you working on anything?"

"What makes you think I write?"

Paris scoffed. "Please, anyone could see that you've got that tortured author look from a mile away."

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. When did you get a printing press?"

"Did I not tell you about that? Asher left me his antique one when he died. It was in our dorm for a while but Rory made me move it to a storage unit. It's actually costing me a fortune to keep. Do you think you guys could use it over there?"

"No, because we use modern technology and not moveable type. Generous offer, though."

"I thought I would give it a try," Paris said with a shrug. "Know anyone who would want a printing press? I don't really have a use for it and I don't think Doyle really likes me having my dead boyfriend's parting gift around."

"Try Craigslist while you're there. And maybe don't refer to Asher as your dead boyfriend when you have a very much alive boyfriend that is about to move in with you."

"Good call. You give decent advice. I don't know how you couldn't work things out with Rory." Paris flinched as soon as the words were out of her mouth. "Sorry."

"Giving good advice does not always make for a good relationship. But yes, I am quite insightful."

"Speaking of relationships, how are things with that coffee shop girl?"

"Well she lives in New York and I don't, so that was pretty much the end of that."

"Ha!" Paris exclaimed. "You were together. I knew it."

"We were just friends," Jess said, none too convincingly. "You just worry about your own relationship. I heard that moving in together is what really tests things."

"Where did you hear that?" Paris demanded.

"Oh, you know. Around."

"Jess!"

"Would you look at the time. I've got to get going. Have fun with the apartment hunt!"


	15. At Least We're Alive

"Did you know Lorelai and your uncle are engaged?"

"Yeah, my mom called me about it. How did you know that?" Liz had also told him that Rory and Lorelai were in a fight at the moment, so Jess doubted she got the information from Rory.

"Lorelai, of course," Paris said, as if that should have been obvious. "We do lunch once a week at The Dragonfly."

"You 'do lunch' with Rory's mom every week?"

"It first started when Rory told me she was quitting Yale. I went right to Stars Hollow and told Lorelai we needed to fix it and she was incredibly unhelpful, but now we have lunch and catch up. By the way, Luke was all for kidnapping Rory and re-enrolling her, so let him know that I forgive him for kicking me out of the diner the first time I went to Stars Hollow."

"Yeah, I don't talk to Luke all that much. We definitely don't have weekly lunches. He kicked you out of the diner?" Jess didn't remember that one, but he could certainly believe it.

"I was just trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with Stars Hollow and he didn't take too kindly to it. You looked very suspicious walking down the stairs into the diner, by the way."

"There's nothing wrong with Stars Hollow. That _is _what's wrong with Stars Hollow."

"I know that now, but at the time I had no idea. I figured there had to be at least a pot dealer skulking around somewhere."

"People don't skulk much in Stars Hollow," Jess said. Except maybe him. Taylor Doose would certainly say he did. "So you called to announce an engagement I already knew about?"

"I didn't know you already knew," Paris said huffily. "But this means that they'll be having a wedding. Rory of course will be in it, assuming they get over this ridiculous fight, and I'm sure Luke will ask you to be his best man. So following traditional wedding protocol, you'll have to walk down the aisle with Rory. Are you going to be able to handle that without doing something stupid?"

"Gee, Paris, it sounds like you don't really have faith in me."

"Judging by your past meetings with Rory, no, I absolutely do not. But you know as well as I do that this wedding could be a great way to get back in her good graces. Maybe once she sees you and Logan in the same place she'll realize that you are far better for her."

"You are doing an awful lot of planning for a wedding that I am sure is months away. Maybe Logan won't even be there. They could break up by then. Or I could be with someone else by then," Jess added.

"Do you even believe yourself when you talk? The girl from the coffee house was as close as you've gotten to dating someone since you broke up with Rory. You're basically a hermit."

Like Luke. That was a scary thought. Jess didn't want to become his uncle. What was it with those Gilmore girls? Of course, Luke got his happy ending. "I don't tell you everything about my life," Jess countered, even though there wasn't much to tell and Paris probably knew it.

"You don't have to. I can interpret from your phone calls that you don't have a lot going on."

"Talking to you is just always so much fun, Paris."

"Being informative doesn't have to be fun," she said.

"You would make a great teacher."

"I'm pre-med. Or law. I'm not sure which yet."

"It was a joke. Don't worry about it."


	16. With Just Enough Breath

"Happy Rory's birthday."

"Is that a nationally recognized holiday now?"

"No, but it is an excuse to go to a party. Of course, the party is at her grandparents' so it will probably be full of suits and their trophy wives but I wouldn't say no to a reason for a cocktail or two." Paris looked down at her nails, wondering if she should paint them for the party. She was pretty sure she only owned one nail polish though, and it was clear.

"Okay," Jess said. "What did you do with the real Paris? Who is this imposter who likes parties and cocktails?"

"It's fun to go out and do something every once in a while, and my reading assignment for Monday was pushed back so I actually have some free time. Plus this will be a great chance to announce to everyone that I'm the new editor of the Yale Daily News." She said it casually, like it was no big deal, but she was positively bursting inside.

"Paris, that's great!"

"Last year I was sleeping with the editor and now he's sleeping with me. Life is good."

"That's one way to look at it," Jess said. "You're going to tell everyone that, aren't you?"

"I might. Why, shouldn't I? I thought it was sort of quippy and fun." Paris didn't want to upstage Rory at her own party of course, but she was pretty proud of herself as well as a little tired of people assuming she was some sort of social pariah, even though she had a live-in boyfriend.

"Hey, whatever works," Jess said. "So Rory's having a big birthday party?"

"Her grandma planned the whole thing, I think. The invitation I got had pearls on it. Hey, do you want to come? I've got a plus one."

"Aren't you going to be taking Doyle?"

"That was the plan, but if you want to see Rory instead I'm sure he would understand."

"You can keep suggesting I go with you to see Rory all you want, but it's not going to happen. It's just not. She wouldn't want that."

Paris sighed. "I don't think you're right at all, but fine. I will stop suggesting you see Rory. In fact, I think you should probably just ignore her for the rest of your life. I'm not even going to tell you about her anymore." Jess could be so irritating.

"Paris, you've said that a hundred times and every conversation either starts about Rory or ends up about her. You started this conversation talking about her."

"Well, not anymore. This time I really am done talking about her. I keep giving you perfect chances to get back in contact with her and you reject them every time."

"I don't want to get back in contact with her," Jess said patiently. "Everything is fine how it is. We both have our own lives. We don't need to talk about her every time we talk."

"Sure, you say that now," Paris said. "But you'll be asking about her a week from now. You'll ask how the party was and I'll tell you and then you'll ask if Luke was there and I'll answer and then you'll ever so casually ask if Rory looked like she was having fun with Logan and I will remind you of this conversation and not answer and you will insist that I tell you what's going on with her."

"That's not going to happen."

"Seven days from now, I guarantee it. We will be having a conversation about Rory this time next Saturday."

"No, we won't," Jess said.

Paris rolled her eyes. "Okay, I believe you," she lied. "I have to get ready for the party now so I'll talk to you later. Not about Rory, though."

"No, not about Rory. Have fun. Say hi to Luke for me if he's there."

"Okay. Anyone else?"

"Sure. Doyle. Say hi to Doyle."


	17. Knots in the Ties

A/N: Not a lot to say other than I like them and this is fun :) I hope you guys are entertained!

* * *

"I went to Hartford."

"Because the air seemed fresher there?"

"You know why I went to Hartford." After months of denying that he wanted any contact with Rory, Jess didn't particularly want to admit that Paris had been right all along. Unfortunately it was very hard to get things past Paris.

A few beats went by before Paris spoke up. "Well, what happened?"

"Not a lot. Said hello. Showed her my book."

"Is book code for something?"

"No, I wrote a book. Technically it's a short novel. I've been driving around all day trying to distribute it to bookstores and I was more or less in the area so I figured I'd try to sell Rory a copy."

"More or less within how many miles?"

"I don't know," Jess said. "Twenty or thirty?"

"Uh huh. So you saw Rory."

"I did."

"Do you think she's still in love with you?" Paris asked.

"I was visiting an old friend, Paris."

"So nothing happened?"

"What did you expect to happen? We said hey, talked about my book a little, make plans to catch up more over dinner tomorrow and I took off before her grandparents got home."

"A ha!" Paris exclaimed, far too loudly. "So there is more going on."

"No, there isn't. We're just going to eat some food and talk a little. I wonder what she'll say about Yale. Thanks for the heads up, by the way. She said she was taking a little break from school tonight but glossed over it pretty quickly so I didn't have to come up with a reaction."

"So where are you going to dinner? Somewhere fancy?"

"It's not a date, Paris."

"I know that, Jess. But you're a big shot author now—thanks for the heads up, by the way—so I thought maybe you would want to show off."

"See, when I said that I wasn't being sarcastic."

"You didn't even tell me you wrote a book!"

"I'm sorry," Jess said contritely. "I should have told you. But I didn't even know if it was going to be a thing until we printed it up."

"It's okay." Paris paused. "You wanted to tell Rory first, didn't you?"

"I guess I kind of did."

"That's sweet," Paris said, sounding uncomfortable with using the word sweet. "Tell me all about your not-date tomorrow, okay?"

"I'll call you. Hey, do you want me to say hi for you?"

"Oh, very funny."

"I try. I'll talk to you tomorrow."


	18. Bind Us So Tightly

"Thanks for finally picking up. I've been dying over here!"

"Paris, it's only 9 o'clock."

Paris looked at the display on her phone. Jess was right. It felt like it was a lot later, though. She had been waiting for an update on his "not date" all day. She hadn't watched a soap opera since high school but this was all just too good. "Well, why are you answering at 9? Did the date not go well?"

"It wasn't a date," Jess corrected her. "It was dinner with a friend. And the friend's boyfriend."

"Oh. Rory invited Logan to go with you guys too?" Rory wasn't one to just spontaneously invite people to join in on her plans, but then again Paris felt like she didn't really know her friend at all right now.

"Nope. We were just getting ready to leave when Logan pulled into the driveway, back from his trip a day early. I didn't realize being a dick required making trips to other states."

"If I'm being honest, I don't like Logan. He does the minimum amount of work possible at the paper and is always out partying with his friends. I'm 100% sure he's why Rory dropped out of Yale. So dinner didn't go well then?"

"It barely went at all. We were there less than an hour and Logan was just too much to deal with. He kept saying things like 'order whatever you want on me and don't worry about the price' or 'hey, drinks are on me all night so don't worry about it'. I showed up to go to dinner with Rory. Did he think I didn't bring any money?"

Paris shrugged. "He's one of those guys who thinks he's really good at being rich. It's annoying, but you get used to it. He does it all the time. If he wants to buy his friends then more power to him."

"It was that, but he was treating me like I was a moron. Rory mentioned my book and he kept asking how long it is," Jess said. "Is it as long as Proust? Chaucer? And then he asked if he was confusing me with those names."

"He was probably jealous that you actually wrote a book that Rory was impressed with and all he does is drink Glenfiddich and jump off buildings."

"Oh, he wasn't jealous. I could tell that much. The whole time he was just staring at me, like what he really wanted to say something like '_you _dated Rory in high school? _You_, the loser without a trust fund?'"

"I don't think he was thinking that," Paris said, rolling her eyes. Jess could be surprisingly dramatic. "But you got through dinner, at least?"

"We were about halfway through some onion rings when he said he should just write down everything he and his friends say and toss in some dialogue tags and get it published. That's when I got up and left."

"He was in fine form last night. Usually he's a bit more subtle about making people feel terrible about themselves. What did Rory do?"

Jess was quiet for a minute. "She followed me out. But that's kind of when I blew it."

"You blow it kind of a lot."

"I had noticed that, yes. I just kind of went off on her. I just kept telling her that none of this stuff is like her. I think I asked her what was going on with her like half a dozen times. And then I said we should catch up at a better time and I left." He sighed. "I don't think there's ever going to be a better time. I think that was it. I'll probably never see her again."

"Don't be an idiot," Paris said. "Her mom is marrying your uncle. I'm sure you'll see her all the time for holidays."

"That did not make me feel better. I'm not really looking forward to family reunions with her after that."

"Right. I'm sorry."

"I thought that we had moved past stuff enough to try to be friends again. Wishful thinking, I guess."

"But it's been years since you guys met and you went to California. I think she's going to stick around for a while. My life coach Terrence always liked to remind me that people who care about you will make time for you."

"There was a lot going on in that sentence. You never told me you had a life coach."

"Well after the way Rory reacted about it I wasn't about to broadcast it to the whole world. Terrence helped me through some things once Nanny was gone."

"Your nanny died?"

"No, she moved to Idaho," Paris said, annoyed. "This is just proof that you and Rory will probably have some sort of weird friendship forever. She asked the same thing when I told her Nanny left. Why does everyone assume someone leaving can only be traumatic if they die?" Moving to Boise was basically a slow death as it was.

"I'm sorry," Jess said. "It was a lot of information to make sense of in thirty seconds on top of dinner tonight. I should probably go because I didn't bring my phone charger with me, but you can tell me all about your nanny and your life coach tomorrow."

"You always sound like you're making fun of me. He's not my life coach anymore but I could give him a call and ask him what you should do about Rory if you want."

"No thanks. I'll figure it out on my own. Eventually."


	19. Our Waking Lives

"Guess who's coming back to Yale."

"Doogie Howser?"

"Doogie Howser went to Princeton, Jess. Don't make references you don't even understand. I thought Rory would have taught you that."

"I'm sorry," Jess said, wondering how Paris even knew what school Doogie went to. She didn't seem like the Doogie Howser type. "So it's Rory, then?"

"Yes, it's Rory," Paris said, sound irritated. "Of course it's Rory. Who else would it be?"

"I don't know. Why didn't you just say 'hey, Rory's coming back to Yale'? She's the only person besides you that I know who goes to Yale."

"You suck the fun out of absolutely everything. But yes, Rory is coming back for the spring semester. So all of that dramatic taking time off stuff was completely pointless. She acted like it was the end of the world."

"You acted like it was the end of the world," Jess pointed out. "Rory barely said a word about it. She acted like it wasn't a big deal at all."

"You don't even care that she's coming back, do you? Jess, she's coming back because of you."

Jess almost snorted the soda he was drinking out of his nose. "What? That's ridiculous. She is not."

"Well, she didn't seem to care about coming back at all until you talked to her last week. And she and Logan are fighting or something, but the way. So whatever you did worked."

"Please. Nothing worked because I wasn't trying to do anything. I just wanted to catch up with Rory. Whatever she did or didn't do after we hung out has nothing to do with me."

"I think it does," Paris argued. "I think you said something that made her change her mind about everything."

"I didn't even say anything," Jess said. "Just that none of this was like her."

"Maybe she just needed to hear it from someone's whos opinion she respects."

"So she respects my opinion and not her mom's or Luke's or yours or Logan's?"

Paris barked out a laugh. "Please, Logan probably loves that she's not at Yale. She can be his perfect party girl with all her free time."

"Yeah, right. That's not who Rory is."

"No, but it's who she became unfortunately. And you set her straight again."

"You are clinically insane. You should be checked out. I didn't do anything."

"You went to see her. You showed her your book. You showed her that she could do something more with her life than be Logan's arm candy. You did that. You, Jess. This is on you."

"Now it sounds like you're blaming me instead of giving me credit," Jess argued. "When did that even happen? It almost sounded like you were proud of me for a second there. For something I didn't even do."

"No, you definitely did this. You should feel good about that."

"I didn't do anything," Jess said again, even though he couldn't help but smile. Maybe, somehow, very vaguely, he had helped Rory out. That wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"This is dumb. Okay, you're right. You didn't do anything. It's just a coincidence that Rory is coming back right after you went to see her. Silly me. Bye, Jess. Talk to you later."

"Talk to you later. I didn't do anything."


	20. I'll Build Up a House

A/N: I refuse to believe I'm actually on chapter 20 of this fic (not that they're long chapters). It's insane. I hope you're all still enjoying it! I just got an idea for how I want it to end so stick around for that ;)

* * *

"Your time has come, my friend."

"Paris? Are you going to murder me?"

"Not today," Paris said casually. "I've got a bio test to study for. No, according to my sources Rory and Logan have broken up."

"Who's your source?"

"Rory."

"That makes sense," Jess said. "So… what happened?"

Paris shrugged, even though Jess couldn't see her. "It beats me. All I know is that Logan's sister called Rory to chat and said she was sorry to hear about the break up. Rory didn't even know they broke up. She thought they were just fighting."

"They are all over the place."

"Well, Logan is dumb," she pointed out. "But now it's all you. You saw Rory a couple months ago, she and Logan got into a fight that night and now they're broken up. Obviously it's because of you."

"Can you maybe not blame the death of a relationship squarely on me?"

"The death of a relationship. Morbid." Not that Paris was particularly sad that Rory and Logan had broken up. Rory was going to be moving in with her when she came back to school for the spring semester and she would rather not have Logan hanging around the apartment all the time.

"So aside from blaming me for Rory's break up are you going to tell me why exactly it's all me and my time has come?"

"You've got to be playing dumb right now, right? Fine, I'll spell it out for you since you're so emotionally illiterate. Rory is single now. Possibly definitely because of you. This is your chance to finally fix things and make them right like you've been saying you would since _high school_."

"Why do you have to say high school like that? It wasn't that long ago."

"It was three years ago, Jess. Three years during which you've only succeeded in making things more confusing and complicated for you and Rory."

"There is no me and Rory," Jess said. "There hasn't been. Since _high school_."

"I might have to push back my studying if you keep being a smart ass. So just to clarify, you're not going to do anything about the fact that the world's most obvious opportunity has presented itself to you."

"Nope."

"Jess Mariano, you are the most stubborn idiot I have ever known in my life."

"It's always fun to talk to you, Paris."

"I'm giving her your number and telling her to call you."

"Go for it. She won't do it."

"Damn it," Paris muttered under her breath. He was right, of course. Rory could be just as stubborn as Jess was. If they actually managed to get back together as adults they would probably never break up because they would both be too stubborn to admit it if there was a reason to end things. "Next time I call you I'm not going to tell you anything about Rory at all."

"You have never made good on that promise," Jess said, not inaccurately.

"Well this time I really mean it. Be prepared to hear all about my biology test. Hey, we're dissecting a heart next week. I'll take a lot of notes so I can tell you in better detail."

"I can't wait."


	21. Cellophane Soldiers, Cheap Origami

A/N: Why weren't these two friends in the show? Seriously. Also it is rapidly occurring to me that I picked a very strange song for my chapter titles. Oh well.

* * *

"I got a 98% on my biology test when it should have been 100% but the TA is a moron so now I have to set up a meeting with my professor to discuss their incompetence."

"Wow, it sounds like you have a busy day planned. I guess you don't need to talk to me about biology after all," Jess said, wondering if she was actually going to subject him to biology talk instead of Rory talk.

"Nice try. My meeting is tomorrow afternoon. And of course it's on the complete opposite side of campus from my class that gets out 10 minutes before the meeting. Is everyone here a moron?"

"It's Yale. I doubt it."

"Book smart does not mean actually smart. You know that as well as I do."

"Huh, now that felt kind of like a cheap shot at me."

"You said it, I didn't," Paris said. "I'm too irritated to talk about my test. If they hadn't marked one lousy question wrong… The question wasn't even fair because there were obviously two correct answers. Multiple choice tests are for people who are too lazy to grade real tests."

"You are making me really sad I didn't go to college."

"Are you being sarcastic?" Paris asked. "That's not funny, you know. You have a lot of potential that you completely wasted by not going to college."

"It's hard to get into college when you don't graduate high school," Jess pointed out. "And hey, I wrote a book! I'm not even selling hemp hats on the boardwalk."

"What boardwalk?"

"Never mind. I sent you a copy of the book, by the way. Like a month and a half ago. Did you ever read it?"

"I skimmed. It was really easy to skim, by the way."

"Nice." Not that Jess was desperate for validation or anything, but he figured at least Paris would read it. Who even knew if Rory would.

"I've been really busy," Paris said. "There's a lot going on here. The semester is rapidly coming to a close. I only have one more week of classes before exams and then I have to spend the better part of December readying the apartment for Rory to move in."

"How long does it take to clean up an apartment?"

"Doyle and I have our systems. And our second bedroom is completely devoted to my crafts. I don't know where I'm going to put my pottery wheel now."

"Because why wouldn't you have a pottery wheel in your apartment?"

"It's good for me to do things that are hands on. How on earth could I be a good doctor if I can't even sculpt a vase?"

"You know, I never made that connection before but I don't know how I missed it."

"Steady hands, Jess. I need to have steady hands to be a doctor. Sculpting helps to give me steady hands."

"All I said was that I never made the connection before."

"You were mocking me. Mercilessly."

"I didn't think mercy was a word Paris Geller was familiar with."

"I show mercy all the time. You haven't seen the idiots that are on staff at the paper."

"Now, is everyone automatically an idiot or just the people in close proximity to you?"

"Well, you're in Philadelphia and you're still an idiot so I'm tempted to go with the first one."

"Shucks, you're going to make me blush," Jess said, just as his roommate walked into the bedroom. "Hey, I've got to get going. We've got a staff meeting in a couple of minutes."

"Fine," Paris said. "I'm glad you're doing something with your life."

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome. Hey, I did what I said I was going to do."

"That you did. I guess I underestimated you."

"It would be impossible to overestimate me."

"Talk to you later, Paris."


	22. A Piece of Whatever's Left

A/N: Two chapters in an hour, what? This just came out. I'm really loving them tonight. I hope you guys are too!

* * *

"How do you stop a coup d'état?"

"I'm not sure. Let me phone up Caesar really quickly and I'll call you back in a minute."

"You're not funny," Paris said, for what felt like the millionth time. "My staff is rebelling. They hate me."

"I'm sure they don't hate you…" Jess said, incredibly unconvincingly.

"I run a tight ship. What's wrong with that? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with that. And yet they act like I stripped away their basic personal freedoms because I asked them to use a magnet chart to let me know where they are. God, it's not like I'm a Republican."

"But you took it too far, didn't you?"

"When have I ever taken anything too far?"

"Off the top of my head? You made a magnet chart to track the various locations of your staff members. And don't try to tell me it's just to see who's covering what events because I know you and there's no way it's that reasonable."

"So what if I want to know if my staff is using the bathroom? I'm not a pervert. I just want to make sure they aren't wasting time. It's the Daily News, emphasis on the word _daily_. There isn't time for screwing around with other activities."

"If it helps even a little bit, I'm sure people aren't lying to you about going to the bathroom."

"Sheila's magnet said she was in class for seven hours yesterday. She's only taking 13 credits. That's not even possible."

"Is it possible that she went home after class instead of stopping by the paper to switch her magnet to something else?" Jess asked.

Paris sighed. "I guess she could have, but that completely defeats the purpose of the system. If she's home I can call her if we need her. If she's in class I'm screwed. Do you see now why this is a problem?"

"Paris…"

"They're going to Howell Raines me."

"They are not going to Howell Raines you. They're just adjusting to your style."

"I've been editor for months. If they're really all that slow they don't deserve to be on the paper. It's shocking that they even bring me current news and not things that happened last month."

"You might be being too hard on them."

"Impossible. I give them a ton of freedom. I'm in my office most of the time."

"I didn't know you got an office. That's pretty cool."

"Thanks," Paris said, feeling proud. "I built it myself."

"Oh man."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't use your pottery wheel to build it, did you?"

"Of course not." Paris scoffed. "I used partitions that I found around the news room. And cardboard. And some corrugated tin I found in a construction dumpster. It makes a great roof."

Jess made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sneeze. Paris decided to pretend it was a sneeze. "And you don't think that's all excessive?"

"No. I need my own space. I don't want them to see me pull my hair out when I try to edit the slop they turn in as writing."

"I think you might be being too hard on them."

"Well, it's a hard job," Paris said, sounding defensive even to herself. It was a hard job. As if being pre-med wasn't hard enough, now she was the editor of a paper that came out every fricking day. There wasn't even interesting news every day. Half the pieces she read were about parking meters or basketball games. She had only joined the Franklin at Chilton because it was a great resume builder, but she had actually liked writing. Editing was a different story so far.

"I'm sure it is," Jess agreed. "But it might be a little easier if you loosen up a little. If your staff likes you things will run a lot smoother."

"So how do I make them like me?"

"Bring them in donuts or coffee or something tomorrow."

Paris scoffed. "Like I'm their mother? No. They're perfectly capable of getting their own coffee."

"Get together with them outside of the paper, then. Invite them to happy hour. Go out to lunch on a Saturday."

"I don't think I like any of them enough to do that."

"They might be thinking the same thing about you right now."

"I'll try," Paris said, sighing. "Only one more semester, right?"

"Then you're free. To go to med school for a million years."

"The big leagues," Paris said, as if Yale was just a truck stop on the way to somewhere better. "Thanks for the advice. I'll let you know how it all works out."

"Any time. Hey, you haven't mentioned a certain someone in weeks."

"Rory is doing just fine."

"I didn't even mention Rory. Good luck at the paper tomorrow, Howell."

"Jess!"


	23. That Little Box That Beats in Your Chest

"Well, I'm out."

"Out of…?"

"The paper. They ousted me. I'm done."

"Paris, that's awful," Jess said, though he wasn't entirely surprised. Judging by their conversation from a few weeks ago, it was a long time coming.

"Technically they didn't oust me. Rory none too subtly convinced me to quit. But I could tell where the idea was really coming from."

"Come on, Rory isn't like that. She was probably just looking out for you. You have been pretty stressed about this whole thing."

"Yeah, sure," Paris said. "So I guess that's why the duplicitous wench went behind my back and took the job as editor."

"What?"

"Rory is the new editor of the Daily News, effective immediately. Apparently the vote was unanimous."

"Wow," Jess said. He had always thought Rory would become the editor at some point, but he hadn't imagined she would steal the position from Paris. He couldn't imagine Rory doing something that mean. "But the staff voted her in, right? Is it possible one of them also nominated her for editorship?"

"Of course someone did. It was probably Bill. Bill hates me. But she didn't turn it down, did she?"

"She was out of school for a whole semester. How is she even eligible to be editor?"

"There was recently a bit of an incident where the entire staff quit but then of course Rory and Logan stepped in to save the day. So now they all remember her as a paper-saving hero instead of a flake who stole a boat."

"Rory isn't a flake," Jess said automatically.

"I would have gotten the paper out," Paris said, ignoring him. "I had it all planned out."

"I know you would have. But maybe this isn't so bad. You could still write for the paper, you know. You'll still get to be there but it'll be less stressful and you'll have more time to yourself."

"That's true," Paris said. "I could use more time for my pottery. And I have a lot more space now."

"Now?"

"You didn't think I was really going to let Brutus keep living in my apartment, did you? No, all her stuff is out in the hallway. I can't imagine what she'll say when she sees it, but I am too exhausted to care right now. Moving her things was a huge hassle."

"You did not have to move all of her things out into the hallway. You'll make up with her eventually."

"Not this time. The boat thing was stupid and yes, I judged her for dropping out of Yale. But this is an incredibly personal attack on me."

"She is not attacking you. Rory won't even step on spiders when they're in the house."

"Can you stop defending Rory? It's getting really annoying. I know you're still in love with her and everything, but she's completely in the wrong here. There's nothing to defend. She got me fired and then took my job."

"And you kicked her out. That's a little extreme. She's only lived there for like a month and a half and now you're making her find somewhere else to live?"

"I'm sure Prince Huntzberger will let her move in. It's not a big deal. She needs to be held responsible for her actions.

Jess rolled his eyes. Paris could be downright militant when she wanted to be but she always came around eventually. This seemed like a lot of work for someone who was probably going to forgive Rory pretty quickly. "I'm sure this will do the trick, then."

"And I have to say, it will be nice just living with Doyle again. Having Rory around was really cramping our style," Paris said.

"You have a style?"

"You know what I mean. Valentine's Day is coming up and I'm not about to settle for a night watching TV in the living room just because Rory might be sleeping in the next room."

"This conversation got really unfortunate really quickly."

"Oh, so I'm not allowed to talk about my sex life? Prude. I'll have you know that Doyle and I have a very fulfilling relationship both outside and inside of the bedroom."

"I am really happy for you and everything, but I actually have a lobotomy scheduled for five so I should probably get going. Enjoy your sex life."

"There is no reason for you to be repulsed by my sex life!"

"I didn't say that I was. When you were with Asher I was a little bit."

"What was wrong with Asher?"

"You're kidding me, right?"


	24. From the Get-Go

A/N: As it turns out "Under a Paper Moon" is a pretty short song so now this chapter title and all the ones after this will come from All Time Low's "Time Bomb".

* * *

"You know, I never understood the hype about Valentine's Day before I met Doyle. I always thought it was for losers who were desperate for validation."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Paris. You found time to leave the bedroom?"

"I do have class and a life outside of Doyle, you know," Paris said haughtily. "And he's in class right now. We have dinner reservations at 8 though. He's taking me to ON20 in Hartford."

"Wow. I have no idea what that is."

"It's a French restaurant. According to the Zagat guide it is quite the romantic hot spot."

"I never pegged you as a romantic," Jess said.

"I'm not. I tend to find the hopeless romantic types to be completely repulsive and dramatic. But it's nice to have a night out. I swear, ever since Rory moved out I just feel like my life is so much more positive."

"Who's being dramatic now? And Rory didn't move out, you kicked her out."

"Semantics," Paris said, waving off his comment. It was so like Jess to pick apart every word she said. He and Rory were the exact same, always parsing for subtext. "So what are your Valentine's plans, Romeo?"

"I am probably going to grab a few beers with my roommate."

"You're not dating."

"Not currently."

"Why not?" Paris demanded. She knew full well that he was still hung up on Rory, but he was in danger of becoming a total social pariah if he didn't get out once in a while. He was a smart and not entirely unattractive guy, but it seemed like he spent a lot of time holed up on his own. He was on the phone with her all the time, after all.

"I haven't met anyone of interest."

"You've lived in Philadelphia for more than a year. I'm sure you've met at least one girl that you could take on a date."

"You can't just ask a girl on a date for Valentine's day. That's weird."

"It's not weird, it's romantic. Do it. Go out and get a coffee or something and find a girl you can ask on a date for tonight."

"I am not doing that. I know you don't really get Valentine's Day, but a lot of people think it's a big deal. I'd probably end up asking a girl who thought it meant I wanted to marry her or something."

"You are never going to find a girl to take on dates with that attitude."

"Why do I have to find a girl to take on dates anyway?" Jess asked. "Not dating girls isn't really all that bad. I work a lot, too. I don't even have that much free time."

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard," Paris said. "I have a full class load and up until recently I was the editor of the paper. I've still got Doyle."

"Well, that's because Doyle is really weird."

"Thank you so much for insulting my boyfriend. _You're_ really weird."

"Anyway, you and Doyle are in a relationship. You don't have to bother will all of that dating stuff. It's complicated."

"It's not complicated. It's actually really easy."

"When did you ever date? You were with Jamie and then Asher and now Doyle. Have you ever even been alone with another guy at any point in your life?"

"I've conducted a million interviews for the paper with guys. Sometimes over coffee."

"Wow. I wouldn't tell Doyle that. He might get jealous," Jess said.

"You're the one who's jealous. Jealous of my fantastic Valentine's evening that I have planned."

"You caught me. I really wish I was the one going out with Doyle tonight."

"I'm going to hit you the next time I see you," Paris threatened.

"Ooh, that sounds a little violent. I'm not sure I like that."

"I'm trained in Krav Maga. You might want to watch out."

"That's why you and Doyle work so well together. You are also really weird."

"Normally I would resent that, but I don't have the time. I've got a date to get ready for."

"Enjoy your date. Tell Doyle happy Valentine's Day from me, and feel free to throw in a little wink. He'll know what it means."


	25. Hard to Hold

"Guess who's back? And don't make that stupid Eminem joke again. I looked it up the last time you did it and it wasn't even very good."

"It was a pretty decent topical reference, but I'll humor you and make a real guess. You let Rory move back in?"

"Damn it. Did she tell you?"

"Paris, it's ten at night. No one told me anything. I just guessed. What happened?" Paris called Jess at odd times sometimes, but generally not on Saturday nights. Jess assumed that was her dating time with Doyle. Or maybe that's when they practiced their Krav Maga or something.

"Well, first off, Doyle and I broke up. He no longer lives here. It's been a very complex night," Paris said, not sounding particularly put out by the whole thing. She just sounded tired. "So Rory showed up after running into Doyle because she heard we broke up and it turns out that Logan cheated on her with what she described as an entire wedding party. So she's moving out and moving back in here. She's actually in the bathroom now so I should probably go, but I can call and update you more when she's asleep."

"No, that's okay," Jess said. "So he cheated on her?"

"Yeah."

"That sucks."

"It does," Paris agreed. "But I think we all should have seen it coming. I just heard the sink turn off so I'm going to go. I'll call you tomorrow, bye!"

* * *

"Did I wake you up?"

"Would you hang up and let me go back to sleep if you did?" Jess asked, looking at his alarm clock. Truthfully, he had dozed off, but apparently not for long. It had only been an hour and a half since Paris had last called.

"No. Rory moved out."

"My clock says it's the same night as when you last called, but I'm starting to think maybe I slept through several days."

"Logan showed up despite several very devastating insults from me on Rory's behalf, he got her to talk to her and I guess they made up because she went home with him."

"What did he say?"

Paris paused. "See, the thing is, Doyle showed up at about the same time and since they were talking in the hall we were talking in the apartment and we got… back together. He's actually in the shower right now."

"At midnight? No, scratch that. I'm not gonna ask. That's great that you guys are back together though, Paris."

"I was stupid for throwing him out, I know. I've just been so crazy about this whole editor thing and Rory betraying me. I haven't been sleeping and I've been doing a lot of beadwork and Doyle tried to take away my glue gun and I just snapped. I'm glad he forgave me. I probably wouldn't have if I had dumped me. But our reconciliation was really great. It was probably the best we've had."

"The best reconciliation," Jess clarified.

"Sure, that," Paris said, clearly lying.

"That's what I thought. So Rory and Logan are really back together? Even though he cheated on her?"

"Look, I'm not happy about this either. But it's her journey. Remember Terrence, my life coach? He would say that this is something she has to figure out on her own. I can't get too invested in it."

"Is it possible that he said that because Rory is not a paying client of his?"

"Why do you have to be so cynical? Don't you want Rory to follow her own journey?"

"Not if she's dating douchebags who cheat on her." Not that it was his place to pass judgment on her relationships, but Jess knew she could do so much better.

"You should just tell her this yourself. She needs an outside party to talk some sense into her. You know she won't listen to me. She's not the only one who's demonstrated some mental instability tonight."

"I'm not going to tell her. You're right. She needs to make her own choices. It's her life."

"Making her own choices hasn't gone incredibly well before, but maybe Logan won't screw things up this time," Paris said. "And maybe Earth will start orbiting the sun."

"Hey, you realize that we actually had several conversations where we didn't talk about Rory?"

"Well, I wasn't speaking to her for a few weeks there. I think we're okay now though so I'm sure I'll have a lot more Rory stories for you now. Don't worry about that."

"That's not really want I meant," Jess said.

"Oh, don't act like you're not interested in her life. Hey, Doyle just got out of the shower. I think I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long night."

"It definitely sounds like it. Good luck with everything."

"Thanks, but I don't think I need it. I learned my lesson."


	26. Spun Out of Control

"I saw Rory today."

"I don't hear from you for a week and a half and that's what you lead with? How did you see Rory today? Are you in town?" Paris was not going to be amused if he was in town and hadn't bothered telling her. She had been on him to at least grab a coffee for months now.

"No, she came here. I sent here an invite for a while back for an open house we were having and she came to it. So did Luke and Luke's daughter, actually. It was a weird day."

"Was everyone invited to this but me?"

"I sent Rory the invitation when she was living with you. I thought she'd tell you about it."

"Oh, sure. Blame Rory for not inviting me to your open house. You owe me an open house now."

"Sure," Jess said. "Come whenever you want."

"I want a written invitation."

"I will email you and tell you to come whenever you want, how's that?"

"I want an evite. Not just an email."

"Fine, I'll send you an evite. Now can I tell you about my day or not?"

Paris sighed. "Yes, tell me all about how you invited Rory to your big party and didn't invite me."

"It wasn't a big party. It wasn't even a big deal. We have open houses two or three times a year. Basically every time we decide the shelves would look better facing a different direction. We put out some cheese plates and make all the books 10% off. Big deal," Jess said. "Anyway, I thought I'd invite Rory as kind of a peace offering after that whole thing that happened last time I saw her. I completely forgot about it, actually. I never thought she would really come."

"Okay, Prince Charming. I get it. I shouldn't feel bad that you didn't invite me. Did you screw things up again?"

"Why do you act like I always screw things up? Nothing happened. We just talked. Caught up a little. Which was difficult, by the way, since you've basically told me every significant thing about her life recently. Apparently I'm a decent enough actor to make it seem like I didn't know Logan cheated on her and she was still with him."

"So she brought up Logan? I thought she would avoid that after the last time you met him."

"Well… she might not have, except we kissed."

"Of course you did. That is not at all surprising to me, actually. Why did you do that? You know she has a boyfriend." And girls were always portrayed as the impulsive romantic ones in cheesy movies? Paris could write a much better movie after dealing with Jess' drama.

"It just felt right."

"How did that feel right at all? She has a boyfriend!"

"You got together with Asher when you were still with Jamie."

"That was different."

"How?"

"Asher wasn't my ex-boyfriend."

"I don't think that matters at all. And by that logic Rory should be the one in trouble for kissing me."

Paris groaned. "Whatever. I don't think you should have kissed her."

"She kissed me back. And then she couldn't cheat on Logan because she loved him."

"Ouch. What did you say to that?"

"What could I say? It is what it is. I guess we just missed our chance. I really don't think I'll see her again after this. She basically said as much. She's got Logan and it is what it is."

"That's the saddest thing anyone has ever said. You're really giving up on her?"

"I'd never give up on her. But yeah, I'm giving up on the idea that we could ever actually be together. She forgave Logan for cheating on her. She seems pretty serious about him."

"That sucks," Paris said, for lack of anything better to say. "I guess I knew that since they're living together and everything but I thought maybe you still had a shot. You've mellowed out in the last couple of years, which I thought would work in your favor."

"Yeah, well." Jess was quite for a minute. "Things don't always work out how you want them to, you know?"

Paris thought about her college experience so far. Her boyfriend had died, she had lasted a measly couple of months as editor of the paper and her parents no longer owned any property in the United States thanks to the IRS so she had spent the holidays with Doyle's bizarrely short family instead of her own. No, things didn't always work out. But maybe it was for the best. "Hey, maybe tomorrow you'll meet the girl of your dreams or something."

Jess snorted. "Yeah, sure. Or maybe I'll win the lottery."

"You know what you should do if you win the lottery? Hire a life coach."

"Goodnight, Paris."


	27. On a Wire We Were Dancing

"Well, Logan's in the hospital. He went to an island and jumped off a cliff and now he's at a hospital in New York with some internal injuries and broken bones."

"And you're telling me this why?" Usually Jess liked when Paris called him, but this conversation was already not fun.

"You can call Rory and console her in her time of need. Obviously."

"Remember how I said I was done with getting involved in Rory's life after she came and saw me at the bookstore? That still stands."

"Why can't you be friends with her? You sent her an invitation to your bookstore thing. Hell, you and I are basically best friends and you couldn't even shoot me an evite to the open house!"

"It's complicated. I sent the invitation months ago to make up for that dinner. Which I initiated to make up for trying to get her to come to New York with me. Which I did to make up for running away from her in Stars Hollow. Everything I've done has just been a series of me trying to make up for screwing things up. Last time I saw here things didn't end badly. There's nothing to make up for."

"That's stupid," Paris said flatly. "A relationship cannot be just years of trying to make up for slights."

"A relationship cannot occur between a guy and a girl who has a boyfriend."

"Maybe if it's an open relationship."

"Do Rory and Logan have an open relationship?"

"No. But she could change her mind. Maybe if you suggested it…"

"College is making you insane. I hope you know that."

"I've been studying for exams all week. My teachers all schedule them for the same time for some reason. It's exhausting and I need to have a little bit of fun. This is my fun."

"Speculating about your friend's relationship status while her boyfriend is in the hospital is fun for you?" In some respects Paris had calmed down a lot in college but she had also gotten a lot weirder. Her life coach had probably expanded her mind a bit too much.

"The timing isn't exactly great, I'll admit. I do feel bad that Logan is in the hospital. But also he's a jerk and when you jump off a cliff drop dead drunk, you have to expect the worst. And before you go off on me for being callous and mean, I called the hospital for Rory and badgered three different secretaries for information and Logan is going to be fine when the broken bones heal up." Paris paused. "And yes, okay, his lung collapsed. But they fixed it."

"I honestly don't even know what to say to that," Jess said.

"Whatever. Look, do you have a piece of paper? I'm giving you Rory's number. You need to call her and support her during her time of need."

"I don't have any paper actually."

"Then I'll email you her number. And I'm going to ask her if you call her and every time that I ask and she says you didn't, I'm going to call you and tell you to call her again."

"You are incredibly pushy lately."

"Last time we talked you said things don't always turn out how we want them to. And they don't. But they can be better than we imagine them. When I was with Asher do you think I imagined him dying and me finding a short, lactose intolerant, slightly strange newspaper editor in his place? No. I imagined being with Asher forever. I thought he was the love of my life. And now I can admit that while it was a good experience, I was wrong about that. I know what you're thinking about things with Rory now. They seem pretty impossible and you want to give up and move on. But you could be wrong. Things could turn out differently. If you call her."

"Paris…"

"No. Don't Paris me. Last year I went to speed dating and chose to sit and talk to Doyle a little bit more. I barely did anything and now we've been together for a year and a half. Calling Rory won't kill you. You could talk to her for thirty seconds and hang up if you wanted. But that could change things for you."

"Why do you want me to be with Rory so badly?"

"Look, I don't know a lot about relationships. I know that. You don't even have to make a joke about it at my expense. But I can tell that you guys would be good together. When I see Rory with Logan, that's just not there. They're fine. But they're not right for each other."

"Are you drunk or something?" Jess asked. "You're very rarely this impassioned about anything outside of academic pursuits."

"Well, I'm right. And I know I'm right. But until you prove I'm right that knowledge is just going to be dangling there completely unconfirmed. And I hate that."

"So all of this is just about you being right?"

"Of course. Why, did you think it was about your happiness and general well-being when it comes to relationships?"

"I wouldn't have dreamed of it."

"Good. I sent you her number, by the way. Do something about that."

"We'll see."

"You're infuriating."

"And you might actually be clinically insane. Good luck with your studying!"


	28. Two Kids, No Consequences

A/N: Sorry it's been a couple days! I started writing a new Rory/Jess story and got caught up in that a little bit. Paris and Jess' friendship has not been abandoned though :)

* * *

"I called her."

"Did you really?" Sure, Paris had emailed him four separate times with Rory's number, but she hadn't actually expected him to call her. "What did she say?"

"I got her voicemail, so I hung up."

"After telling her why you were calling and inviting her to call back, I assume?"

"No, I heard the beep and I just hung up."

"You're such a moron." Paris groaned. "Now she's going to see a missed call and just assume someone called the wrong number."

"So?" Jess said. "At least I called her. I made an effort."

"You made the least amount of effort possible. It barely counts."

"Compared to the past when I have made more of an effort and screwed up I'd say this is preferable."

That was true. At least he didn't do anything ridiculous this time. "You're not wrong, but I think you need to call her back. Right now. Call her back right now."

"Why right now?"

"Because if you put it off any longer you're not going to do it, and she just called me twenty minutes ago saying she was at the hospital but Logan was a sleep. So that makes this the perfect time to have a nice conversation."

"I haven't talked to her since we kissed at the bookstore. And I seem to remember telling you that I was just going to let her live her life and not get involved."

"This isn't getting involved, though," Paris argued. "This is reaching out a friendly hand in her time of need. We don't know what's going to happen with Logan."

"You said he'd be fine yesterday," Jess said.

"He could have taken a turn for the worse overnight."

"Did he?"

Paris ignored him. "Look, this is just being friendly and showing an appropriate amount of concern."

"I'm not sure any level of concern is appropriate when she did not give me her phone number nor inform me of his accident."

"She knows we talk," Paris said. It was only partially a lie. Rory knew that Paris and Jess had chatted some in high school, but Paris hadn't mentioned it since Jess left. It had been a few years.

The line was quiet for a minute. "Okay. Fine. I'll call her back. But I'm calling you right after if it doesn't go well."

"Call me back no matter what."

* * *

"You're such a liar."

"That's a really unfriendly way to start a phone call."

"You said Rory knew that we were talking."

"That doesn't sound like something I would say," Paris said.

"You said it literally ten minutes ago. She asked how I got her number and I said I got it from you and she said 'oh' and I asked how she was doing with Logan in the hospital and she asked how I knew he was in the hospital and I said that you told me and she just said 'oh' again. It was a really scintillating conversation."

"Tell me you didn't hang up when all she said was 'oh'. Because that's on her, not you."

"No, surprisingly I can actually function in a socially appropriate way, even though you don't think I can," Jess said. If he was trying to make Paris feel guilty it wasn't working. "I just told her that I hoped he was doing okay and that she could call if she ever wanted to. I don't think she'll take me up on that offer, but at least I tried."

"You did a remarkably good job," Paris said. "Now if you'll excuse me someone is on the other line and I have a feeling I know who it is."

"Have fun explaining how you've been lying to Rory for years."


	29. Pull The Trigger

A/N: Please accept my apologies and a lame school-based excuse for not updating this sooner. I actually have no real concept of time this semester so maybe it hasn't been an egregiously long time, but I feel like I should be updating more anyway. If you're also reading Made for Me and You or A Walk Out in The Cold, I'll try to update those this coming week too. I'll be on vacation the week following so I want to make sure I at least leave you guys with new chapters!

* * *

"So did she call you back?"

"In a manner of speaking," Jess said. "She left a voicemail."

"So yes, then. Why are you always so cagey? Just be straightforward for once in your life."

Jess ignored her. "Well, we didn't actually talk. I didn't call her back. Not really into playing phone tag."

"What did she say?"

"It was just a basic thanks for calling, Logan will be fine, et cetera."

"That was nice of her. Why aren't you going to call her back?"

"Like I said, I don't want to play phone tag forever. Anyway, it was the phone call equivalent of a thank you note. That's the end of it." After being pushed by Paris to call her he was glad they'd had a more or less pleasant interaction, but he was equally glad that it could just be over finally.

"Rory is breaking her neck with classes and studying for finals and Logan being in the hospital and she took the time to call you," Paris said. "That means something. How long was her message?"

"37 seconds."

"Really? Respectable."

"No, not really," Jess said. "I have no idea. It was short."

"You're irritating. But short or not, this is a big deal. You should call her back."

"I'm telling you, she was just being polite. It was not a big deal. And like you said, she's been busy. I'm respecting that."

Paris scoffed. "Yeah, that's exactly why you won't call her back. I'm going to punch you in the face. You're making me want to punch you in the face."

"You should start doing yoga instead of Krav Maga. Or get your life coach back. That was just mean. Since when are you the violent type?"

"I'm not violent, I'm frustrated. I cannot be the only person in the world who thinks she would be better with you than with Logan. For instance, you would never get plastered and throw yourself off a cliff."

"You should start polling people or something since you're in such need of validation. She's with Logan, and that's that." Lately it felt like Jess kept having the same conversation with Paris. He knew she meant well, but it was getting on his nerves. Her insistence in making something out of nothing was only making her crazy, and it was making him crazy by association.

"I never thought I would see Jess Mariano give up."

"I give up basically every time I talk to you. Don't tell me you haven't noticed that."

"I've noticed you try to give up, but if you have to do it every time we talk then it's not really giving up, is it? Just call her. You can always give up again next time we talk."

Jess rolled his eyes. "There isn't going to be a next time I talk to you. But maybe I'll call her back in a few days if I have a reason to." He should have known that being vague wasn't going to fly with Paris.

"So loving her isn't reason enough? Look, come up here and hang out with me. Now that she knows we talk it wouldn't be weird to just casually invite her along."

"It would be incredibly weird, actually, as well as the most blatant set-up in the history of the universe. Look, it might not seem like it to you but Rory and I left things on a pretty good note the last time I saw her. It would be perfectly reasonable to just leave things as they are. Rory and I are both adults and she's in a relationship with someone. You need to just listen to me and trust me when I say that this is for the best."

"You're no fun anymore," Paris said. Jess could almost hear her pouting. "What happened to the crazy Jess who would stop at nothing to make things right with Rory?"

"He realized that he was actually making things worse and grew up a little," Jess said. "And then eventually he did make things right with her. So now normal rational Jess is asking you to please drop this, okay? It's gone on for long enough."

"Fine," she said. "But you're going to change your mind. I know you are."

"Trust me, if I do, you'll know."


	30. Without Thinking

A/N: Okay, reader survey. Do you guys want to see phone calls between Rory and Jess or Rory and Paris? After 30 chapters I don't know if that would be too much of a change in format or not, but I'm always looking for ways to make the story better :)

* * *

"Hey, where are you?"

"The bookstore, why?"

"Oh, good," Paris said. "I was hoping you would be. We'll be there in about twenty minutes, so don't go anywhere." Jess had said the other day that he was done with Rory, so Paris had decided to take matters into her own hands. Since Logan was still safely in the hospital, she and Rory had hit the road to go visit Jess. Rory had seemed apprehensive at best, but Paris wouldn't take no for an answer.

"We?" Jess asked. "Who is we? You and Doyle?"

"Nah, I'll bring him next time. Rory and I decided it would be fun to take a little road trip."

"You are not serious right now, are you? Tell me you're not serious." If Rory had heard Jess on the other line her face remained impassive, which was good. Paris didn't want her to think Jess was against this. He could be stubborn as hell, but she knew he would put on a good face once they got there. She hoped.

"See you in a bit!" Paris said, hanging up her phone before Jess could respond.

* * *

"Why on earth did you think that would be a good idea?"

Paris scowled. Jess had been perfectly fine the day before, but she should have known he wouldn't let her off the hook. "It was a good idea, obviously. You and Rory had fun.'

"Oh, you mean after you faked food poisoning and stayed in my apartment but insisted Rory and I go out and catch up?"

"I am not going to apologize for that. She said you had a good time."

"You are a sociopath. You need to be diagnosed. You are way too manipulative to be just a normal person."

"So you're an armchair psychologist now? I knew you would have fun with Rory. And she wanted to see you, too. She even said she had been a little bummed out when you didn't call her back. She really wants to be friends with you again. But both of you are too damn stubborn to actually do anything about it, so I had to intervene. What exactly did you guys do, anyway?"

"Not much," Jess said. "We just walked around a little. She wanted to try a real Philly cheesesteak, which is ridiculous because every single stand makes them differently. Then we just looked in a couple of record stores and bookstores."

"How very PG of you."

"You know, you should really start watching soap operas so you can stop trying to manufacture drama for your friends. What did you expect us to do, book a motel room for a couple of hours?"

"It would have been an interesting turn of events, that's all."

"Ridiculous."

"Come on, tell me you didn't have a good time with Rory. I've seen the two of you together before. You just fit together. Like Doyle and I do."

Jess sighed. "It was fine," he said. Paris assumed that was as good as an admission as she was going to get. "I just wish you hadn't felt the need to spring a visit on me like that. I also wish you weren't a surprisingly convincing actress. I think Rory actually thought you were sick. She wanted to pick you up some Tums."

"I mentioned feeling queasy in the car on the way there. For a really good lie you have to plant the seed early."

"Seriously, how have you not been diagnosed with some sort of personality disorder yet?"

Paris ignored him. "Now, did you call Rory and thank here for coming to visit?"

"I didn't, no. Because she was dragged there against her will and that would be weird."

"She was not. She was excited to go."

"It seemed like she felt awkward and intrusive."

"She was not acting like that at all!"

"No, but when we left she apologized for making things awkward if she was being intrusive."

"She's so polite. What else did you guys talk about?"

"Not a lot. School, work. Logan."

Paris made a face. "Ouch, you talked about Logan? I didn't anticipate that."

"Why wouldn't she talk about her boyfriend?" Jess said. "After all, the last time I talked to her it was because I was asking her about him due to the fact that he was in a pretty serious accident recently."

"I probably should have seen that coming," Paris admitted. "Did she tell you about how he's moving to London after he graduates?"

"She mentioned he was going out there to work," Jess said. "It didn't seem particularly important."

"Well, Logan will be gone for a year. She'll need someone different to hang out with."

"Then she can hang out with you, since I live several hours away. Seriously, how did your life become planning out what Rory and I should do?"

"I don't know. I was unhappy for a long time and now I'm really happy with Doyle. I want you and Rory to be happy too. Because I know she's not as happy with Logan as she wants everyone to think. And you probably haven't been happy since you went to California."

"You know, it is possible for someone to be single and happy."

"Sure, but it's so much better to have someone to share the happiness with."

"Rory has someone to share her happiness with. And just from the little she said about him, it seems like things are good there. I'm not going to ruin her happiness by butting into her life, okay?"

"You won't ruin her happiness by being her friend. While I think you just shouldn't have broken up with her in the first place, I think that being her friend would be good for the both of you too. Going to Philadelphia was kind of my big finish here, okay? I'll stop bothering you about her. I know that things can't work out romantically with you two right now. But I think she could use a friend. And so could you."

"I can handle things myself, okay? Look, just don't worry about it anymore. I can be your friend without having to be Rory's friend, too."


	31. There's Only One Way Down This Road

A/N: I was on vacation and then getting back to school, but I'm back now! Hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently now :)

* * *

"And another year at Yale comes to a close."

"You're in the home stretch," Jess said. "Are you excited?"

"About the many years of grad school I have after this? Absolutely. Hey, I'm running a tutoring center this summer."

"Really? That sounds…"

"Exciting? Charitable? Like a good use of my time."

"I was going to say terrifying. And you're going to charge the poor kids a lot, aren't you."

"Through the nose."

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

"Hey, I'm going to be giving a way better tutoring experience than any other place would. I'm actually going to make them learn, not just hold their hands."

"Well, I'm sure it'll be great. Charitable, on the other hand…"

"Hey, I could be flipping burgers somewhere instead but I'm helping out kids instead. And you know what else school ending means?"

"The beaches will be more crowded?"

"Logan is gone."

"Huh," Jess said. Paris would no doubt be irritated by his lack of interest, but he really couldn't have another conversation with her about Rory and Logan. Despite Paris' little shanghai in Philadelphia, Jess hadn't called Rory again. He didn't feel too badly about it, since Rory hadn't called him either.

Unsurprisingly, Paris groaned. "Fine, I can take a hint. She's going to be sad this summer though, you know. She and Logan were planning on taking a trip to Asia and now that's obviously off, so she's just going to be moping around Stars Hollow. It'll probably kill her, actually. You lived in Stars Hollow. You know what it's like there. If you're not propped up on all kinds of meds you'll just go crazy."

"I agree with you, but Rory actually likes Stars Hollow. I think she'll be fine. It's not like Logan was shipped off to war. You know we've been having this same conversation for over a year now? You were trying to get me back together with Rory before she even dated Dean the second time."

"The third time, actually. They broke up once in high school before you showed up. But that wasn't my point. You should go to Stars Hollow this summer. Visit your uncle or your mom or something."

"I'm not exactly the visiting my family type. I could go visit you instead, since you completely abandoned me when you came to Philadelphia."

"That could be fun," Paris said. "Although with this tutoring gig I'm not sure how much

free time I'll have. I have to start preparing for next semester, too."

"Of course. I should have known. Paris Geller does not do free time."

"Hey, you can't slow down for a minute at Yale. You could be lying dead in a hallway and everyone would just trample your body if it meant taking your seat in class. It's a bloody battle."

"You are not making me sorry I skipped college."

"A girl actually tried to stab me during one of my finals. She said she just lost her grip on her pencil, but it was less than an inch from being embedded in my hand."

"Okay, now you're just exaggerating."

"Doyle wasn't surprised when I told him. The girl's been trying to cheat off me all year. I had to start answering the questions in a random order and then waiting for the last minute to fill out my Scantron. Completely brilliant. It was Doyle's idea."

"You guys really found each other. So things are still good with you guys?"

"He's amazing." For once Paris didn't sound like she was being sarcastic or demeaning. "You know, you could have that too," Paris said after a pause. "Logan's in London, and you know what they say. Out of sight, out of mind."

"We were actually having a nice conversation there for a minute. I've got to get going, though. School let out here too which means there are a lot of people wandering around pretending they'll be lost if they don't read Kafka over the summer."

"Like they're fooling anyone. At least be nice to them."

"Hey, I'm always nice. Be nice to the kids you're tutoring."

"We'll see."


End file.
